Thursday 6th August 2015.
Three years ago today, I
sat in the waiting room at Aberdeen Royal Infirmary, watching the Olympics on
the TV screen (which was broken, all the colours green and yellow) Beth Tweddle
had just won Bronze in the uneven bars. It was 1520hrs. Moments later I was told I had Invasive
Lobular Breast Cancer. My body and my life changed.
We’ve been packing and
unpacking crates and boxes having moved both girls in recent weeks and then
ourselves! Hectic times! As such the Breathless Breastless Project (http://www.breathlessbreastlessproject.org/) has gone on
hold for the time being. The loft now houses several pieces of the exhibition,
with the rest having gone back to the artists for safe keeping until such time
as we find ourselves with another venue or request to exhibit. Social media
pages are still fairly active with new “likes” over recent weeks, possibly as a
result of the great publicity in Breast Cancer Cares team B-Aware magazine
which is being handed out at various venues throughout Scotland and is going on
tour on Betty the Pink Bus!
As the months roll by,
it is with sadness that I hear news of someone whose cancer has returned and
also of a friend newly diagnosed. I never take the news well as it throws you
in to that momentary panic of “what ifs”. I have learnt three years post
diagnosis that these fears only last a couple of days and then I shift back
into the here and now, the present, and put the lid on the box. I continue to
be inspired by the people I know who are living with cancer which fuels me to
try to make the most of the friends and opportunities that I have and that I am
able to create, filling more and more of life with quality time and activities
of pleasure. Enjoying spending time “being” and “doing” instead of the stresses
that life seemed to frequently throw at me from time to time in the past.
So here I am embarking
on a new life in a new place closer to family and long standing friends and of
course much warmer weather! For the first time in years the calendar exhibits a
host of different events and invitations for the coming months. It is fair to
say that I had never experienced loneliness until I moved to Aberdeen. Yes, we
had beautiful homes and stunning views but there is only so much pleasure to be
gained walking the dunes and absorbing the views (in the cold wind!) and that
never quite filled the gap of regular company and sharing. There were of course
good times and good people during my nine years in Aberdeen, but never any real
sense of community or belonging.
Changing to a new medical practice and hospital in England filled me with hope that the system and care might be better than some of that which I experienced in Scotland. However, thus far, that does not seem to be the case!
Having been told at reception that I needed to see the GP in order to get Tamoxifen on repeat prescription he had no idea why I was sat in front of him or indeed that I was a new patient. He was unable to tell me if I qualified for free prescriptions (in Scotland no one pays) or if I did how to go about it. He referred me to the dispensary in the next village who referred me to NHS online who referred me back to my GP! It was a stressful afternoon! The end result was to go back to the GP practice to see the nurse who filled out the correct form which the Doctor had to sign! He was not at all interested in listening to my issues with the neck and arm pain and said I needed a separate appointed to discuss any “issues”. The new patient health check with the nurse proved to be a better, friendlier experience. Blood pressure normal, BMI normal, urine normal, cholesterol possibly an issue. She’s booked me in for more bloods and said I should see the doctor about the arm / neck pain. I am hopefully also now in the system to get my annual mammogram and check up in the coming weeks.
Meantime, I am celebrating
being three years post diagnosis and escaping the unpacking of boxes by flying
off to Skiathos with one of my beautiful daughters, her friend and one of my
long standing friends. Mamma Mia!
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